Carnivale starts back up on Sunday. I HAVE BEEN LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT AND THIS MOMENT ALONE. Of course, it would figure that in an effort to cut costs recently, I shut down HBO. Which means that we will be watching Carnivale amidst the Circus that is my parent's house. Good points would include...BIG ASS TV and free snacks. Bad points would include...my mother's incessant need to NAG ABOUT CRAP at inappropriate times and the possibility that my sister will be around and unmedicated. Both of these would mean that there would be some good old-fashioned Valle screaming going on. Cuz Valle women LOVE to scream. And who can watch Carnivale when there are a bunch of screaming Valle women running amuck?
The scene would be something like this...
Mom: Cece, did you bring back those pajamas that I like to keep here at MY house for Cris??
Me: Ssssssh.
Mom: Well then Cris spends the night and I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING FOR HIM TO WEAR TO BED!
Me: Iwillbringthem. SSSSH.
Mom: It's bad enough you took all of the socks and undies I had here SPECIFICALLY FOR MY HOUSE!
Me: Well then SEND HIM HOME NAKED NEXT TIME AND SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH!
Mom: WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE OF MINE AT YOUR HOUSE?!
Me: I don't know, I'm a little busy right now.
Mom: I'm missing ALOT OF THINGS!
Me: I DON'T KNOW WOMAN! I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW!
Mom: Well I want ALL OF MY STUFF BACK!
Me: (growling) Oh KAY.
Mom: THIEFIKUS!
Me: All RIGHT.
Sister: Whats mom bitching about?
Me: Shut...UP...I AM TRYING TO WATCH SOMETHING HERE!
Sister: WHY DONT YOU SHUT UP......GAAAH! YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH!
Me: YOU'RE THE BITCH! SHUT UP!
Sister: YOU SHUT UP!
Me: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Sister: You get out of here! It's not even your house! Go to your own house and get out of MY house!
Me: IT WAS MY HOUSE FIRST!
Sister: Well it's not your house NOW SO LEAVE!
Me: I DONT HAVE HBO OR I WOULD!
Sister: WELL GET HBO!
Me: I CAN'T AFFORD HBO!
Sister: HOW CAN YOU NOT AFFORD HBO?!
Me: BECAUSEICANTGETOUTOFMYFACEBEFOREIKICKYOURASS!
Sister: YOU CAN KISS MY ASS.
Me: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Dad: What?
Me: TELL HER TO LEAVE ME ALONE!
Sister: I wasn't even DOING anything.
Dad: Leave her alone.
Sister: I WASNT EVEN DOING ANYTHING!
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!
Dad: What are you watching?
Me: I am TRYING to watch CARNIVALE.
Dad: Oh, whats that about? HEY! Isn't that the little guy from Twin Peaks?!
Me: I'm leaving.
I may as well just give up and get my HBO back.
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12 comments:
Holy shit. I would have left too. That is freaking hilarious! I love that damn show. You must have a house of total and pure quietness while watching it. Maybe you should splurge for HBO again??? It is SOO worth it!!
the only carnavale i want to watch is in brazil. :D
lol at grace :)
that sounds like a mad house!
you know, my roommate does the EXACT same thing as your mom. ill be watching something, and he will just come up and start talking to me like im not doing anything.
you know, if im really not doing anything, i wouldnt mind him talking to me, but for the love of TVLAND, leave me alone when im watching TV!!! hehe
how old is your sister again? lol, jk i must say, she does have valid points though ;)
Alexis Florinda Valle is 21 years old. She is also a craphead. Do not side with her or I will be forced to...cry.
OMG, her middle name is 1 letter away from the state i live in, it must be meant to be! HAHA
anyway, you are right, i shouldnt side with the craphead... what a total bitch, i cant believe she would be so rude to you.
hows that?
Well...not much better actually.
:oP
hmmm, would me telling you that you have some reading to do be better?
Haha - this is funny! Memories of my own house while growing up. Except I'm the one not watching TV...!
Just have someone tape the damn show or go to a room with a single small tv and lock the door. That's a lot of bullshit for ONE television show. Besides, it's not like it's Sanford and Son or anything great.
okay....if i went back to my dad's house to watch t.v. it would go something like this:
cheekdog: watchin' another football game daddy?
dad: ssshhhhh....the sabertooth moo-moos are about to make a praise jesus run through the prehistoric morons.
cheekdog: oh
dad: MOVE YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WAY!!
cheekdog: oh....SORRY!!
after about 10 minutes:
cheekdog: dad?
dad: ------
cheekdog: DAD??
dad: snoooorrrrreeeeee, snort, snark
after about 1 hour and the game is over
dad: WHO THE HELL TURNED OFF MY FOOTBALL GAME??!!!!!
That sounds like fun.
I don't even have cable. Don't you feel sad for me? The worst part is my free TV comes in super crappy so not only do I have to watch infomercials, but they come in really fuzzy and shitty.
LMFAO!
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