Travesty

On Sunday, I picked up my sister in law, Julie, and her two boys for a little impromptu outing to El Centro Mall. Affectionately known here as...The Ghetto Mall.
Heck. We were both desperate to get out of the house. I figured since I was broke, the Ghetto Mall was all I could afford. The only thing I LIKE about that mall is that I can buy a Frito Pie there and go to the Kay-Bee Clearance Toy Store. So after browsing the 20 jewelry stands and fake purse kiosks, we eventually ended up at the toy store...you know, saving the best for last...and I figured since my SISTER- QUEEN OF THE LOWER LEVEL OF HELL (ta da) still hadn't returned our beloved Papa Smurf, I might find a replacement and come home a hero. HA.
I made my way through the toy store with some difficulty and finally came across a small gathering of Smurfs, but I did not see a Papa Smurf amongst them. So I did what any idiot customer would do and I asked the indifferent store clerk. And what did the indifferent store clerk reply? He said...
"I don't really know. Who is Papa Smurf?"

And the sky fell on top of my head.

I turned sideways and regarded him like the heathen he was. "You don't know who PAPA SMURF IS?!"
And he said, "No."
And I was all like..."You've never seen The Smurfs CARTOON?!"
And he was all like..."No, I work."
And then I said..."YOU WORKED ON SATURDAY MORNINGS WHEN YOU WERE 5-8 YEARS OLD?!"
And to that he responded with a shrug.
Now I don't know about you, but I really find it FUCKING hard to believe that this IDIOT did not know who the hell PAPA SMURF IS. I mean...son of a bitch. Papa Smurf is freaking FAMOUS. And then I took a step back and realized the significance of this incident. There are some mofo's out there who are just WAY too ignorant. The way I see it...Papa Smurf is an important part of our Pop Culture. And to me...Pop Culture is right up there with Political Science and A&P. I mean...cripes. I'm a genius because I am proficient in Pop Culture. A genius for NOTHING else. But for Pop Culture...I'm MENSA material. I'd have my degree by now if they would just offer the dang course at the local U. And anyway, how can you NOT KNOW WHO PAPA SMURF IS? If I know anything, I know my cartoons. The Smurfs, The Snorks, Shirt Tales, Gummy Bears, Pirates of the Dark Water, JEM, Beverly Hills Teens, She-Ra...some more obscure than others but...good LORD, the SMURFS don't fall into that catagory.
I have to admit here and now that something about that guy's SHAMELESS IGNORANCE deeply offended me. Not only did he not know, but furthermore he didn't care. While I was getting up at 6am every Saturday morning like a good little lemming, this guy was out riding his BIKE or some crap like that. And he didn't even CARE. And he didn't even KNOW what the Smurfs were or that they were blue and small and they only had one woman. And he didn't CARE. He. just. didn't. care. My look of disgust and disbelief was totally lost on him.
So its not my fault that I brought home some Smurf holding a pair of cymbals and wearing a marching band outfit. NO ONE KNEW WHERE PAPA SMURF WAS.
I took what I could get!