Devil Thy Name Is Target

First comes the paycheck.
Next comes a lonely lunch with nothing to do.
Then comes the realization that Target is right around the corner from my office.

Oh Target wanted me there. She wanted me there BAD. She tried everything in her repetoire to get me there.

Doesn't Cris need new pajamas? Did you SEE those cute pajamas with the plaid pants and the t-shirt that says "Prankster"? Do pajamas get any more perfect than that? I mean...they're PERFECT! They say PRANKSTER! And he's a prankster!

Okay well what about those cute little shorts and t-shirts you saw for Iliana? They were such PRETTY colors! And SOOOO inexpensive. You really should keep an outfit at the house for her in case she needs to change...or two outfits, whatever you think. It would be a smart purchase.

Well then how about you? Don't you need a new shirt to wear tonight to the concert? What ARE you going to wear with those nice jeans? You really ought to buy a nice new shirt. It's a special occasion, for crap's sake.

Er....do you need anymore pacifiers?

Okay. How about you just come in and buy the paper towels and toilet paper that you said you needed this morning. You SAID you needed them. Just go straight to the back of the store and don't even look at anything else, I SWEAR I won't tempt you.

Well then WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR A WHOLE HOUR YOU BITCH?!

Uh...I mean...I'm here if you need me.