The Beginning Of The End

The other day I received one of the first indications that things were going STRAIGHT TO SHIT. My cell phone rang. I answered. A squeaky little pre-pubescent voice chirped, “May I please speak with Cristian?” I was in a total state of shock so naturally I just handed the phone over to my eight year old without much fuss…other than I suspiciously inquired…”Who is this?”
It was Sydni. You know the one.
The look on Cristian’s face was enough to curdle my innards. He was one part amazed, one part ecstatic and the resulting effect was that his face screwed up into a huge toothy smile as he screeched…”IT’S SYDNI?!”
Yes, I said he screeched and he did.
He then snatched the phone out of my hand and shot down the hall towards the playroom.
NATURALLY, I snuck down the hall close on his heels. The amateur left the door cracked. I could see that he was lounging on the floor pillows like some kind of arabian prince, fiddling with an action figure and keeping one eye on the Star Wars movie he was watching. I held my breath. I listened closely.
This is what I heard in no particular order from Cristian’s side of the conversation…

Well, I’m wearing some blue soccer shorts and like, a white tee shirt.
WHAT THE…?!

And then…

Hehe, well, yeah, my parents are pretty wealthy.
WHO?! WHAT?! WHERE?!

I crouched outside the door not knowing whether to laugh out loud or feel bad about him lying.

Well. But. You’re just a kid.

Yeah, but you’re the kind of kid who likes to go out and I’m the kind of kid who likes to stay home and read comic books.

Now look. I’m not trying to imply anything but was this little floozie trying snag herself a future Champion of The World or what?

GET LOST, GIRL.