The Three Day Weekend Is Almost Over And This Is All I Have To Show For It

I attended Mass this morning with my parents and the two boys. Of course, Cristian was an angel. Nobody had to know that we bought his good behavior with a couple of Minicons that were tucked into the pockets of his chinos. He sat between my parents with his head downcast in a penintant manner. For all the world, looking like the poster child for good little catholic school boys around the world. Only a more observant eye would have been able to detect the occasional twitching of his upper arms, produced by the epic battle that his Transformers were mercilessly engaged in.
On the other side of my mother, sat me. And the OTHER son. Not the good son. The OTHER son. The one who LOOKS like a tiny smiling representation of cherubic love but in reality is a fuming, snarling beast of evil malice.
Oh Lord, thou hast plagued me. I ask not why, for I know my sins are plenty.
Miko really had me fooled for the first 30 mins, as he cuddled in my arms, batting his eyelashes at the people sitting behind us. But then the inevitable happened.
He got bored.
After a couple of escape attempts and the resulting indignant squawking, I gathered up our baggage. I would rather die on a burning stake than be the mother of one of those kids that screeches during church. I mean...thats what the baby room is for, right?
Nothing redirects that kid's attention like his own rapid movement, so I whisked him down a short hallway and to the back door that led into the BABY ROOM.
See...I was mistaken when I thought the baby room was some sort of haven for other frazzled parents with demon spawn children. In fact...the BABY ROOM is where the demon spawn children all congregate and plot their takeover of the world. When I opened the door, I swear my hair blew back with the force of their combined BADNESS. I didn't stand in the doorway long enough to find out if the other parents had actually been tied to their seats upon entrance or if their inaction was merely due to their own resignation.
It was like getting an inside tour of the primate exhibit at the zoo. Except none of them were slinging their own shit. Yet.
I quickly shut the door before Miko could protest.
I've decided that until Miko can be threatened with hand to butt contact, I may not want to take him to a place that requires him to sit still and be quiet. And I may just actually have to wait until he is old enough to be bribed with Minicons. Or a college fund.