We went to Schlitterbahn on South Padre Island yesterday. I am currently a nice shade of lobster red. I actually found a swim suit though. If anyone is interested, I purchased a visually pleasing combination of board shorts and a halter top. Sporty yet comfortable. And my booty was under wraps. I had enough old pervs checking out my boobage without feeling creepy eyes on my butt. I never worry about young guys scoping me out. It’s always old men. I am simultaneously disgusted and flattered. Heh.
So here was the scene at the mall while swim suit shopping with my mom…which, much like the stares of nasty old men, can be both good AND bad…
Mom: Oh that one looks really CUTE on you! You could give that whats-her-name a run for her money!
Me: Who?
Mom: Whats-her-name! Jessica Whats-her-name! Daisy Duke!
Me: Simpson?!
Mom: Yeah, her!
Me: What are you KIDDING ME?!
Omigod. And this is the part where I sloughed off the short shorts and opted for the board shorts. Okay let me just give you my internal dialogue while having this conversation.
The Good News:
My mom thinks I’m cute therefore the whole WORLD must think I’m cute!
The Bad News:
Millions of children make this mistake everyday. It’s not true. Only a small percent are actually THAT cute. Additionally, I know that I could NOT give Jessica Simpson a run for her money. Even IF all of the judges were creepy old men. And that’s just being realistic, people. I’m not fishing for compliments here.
By the way. I am so red that I am getting more attention than a naked girl at a frat party. People I don’t even KNOW are feeling compelled to comment. Case in point. The young security guy who usually trolls around the parking lots in his little golf cart offering rides, even HE wanted to tell me…”YOU GOT A NICE SUNTAN GOING THERE!”
To which I responded with a good-natured chuckle and a mental protruding finger.
Last night Roy rubbed Benadryl all over my tender and scorched back and as if it wasn’t bad enough that my skin feels raw…like it’s been scraped off and the flesh exposed…my arms itch like crazy. Like an entire squadron of mosquitos feasted on every square inch. THAT kind of itch. The one where you just want to dig your nails in and scratch until you reach the summit of relief. I’ve compared this feeling to an orgasm before.
And rightfully so.
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It's My World. I Make The Rules. And Break The Rules.
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About Me
- Cece Martinez
- I love cupcakes, Hello Kitty, mustache mugs, fantasy fiction, pop culture, alt music and blue collar coffee. I dislike country music. With a passion.
8 comments:
so your that type of wexican huh? the burning kind. ouch.
i just about spit out my cheerios when i read that last line. hmmmm....interesting.
i dont really care for jessica simpson. i mean she's pretty, but she just doesn't do it for me. now jessica alba? rawwwrrrrrr! hummuna, hummana, hummana!
HAHA! Yeah Jessica Alba is on Roy's HOT list.
Well, mine too for that matter.
awww, you poor thing...
hey, post a pic of you in your swimsuit! *rawr*! :D
Don't worry Cece....if you were in a contest with Jessica Simpson......you would win hands down. She's a whiny, over-rated, stupid blond who needs to find a quiet place to die. As for your itch...... ummmm.... congradulations???
//My twisted head trying to make you smile.......
Think of the fun when it starts to peel!
God bless moms!!
i rarely go out in the sun these days. Or even in any kind of daylight.
Plus. The flies. Being cadaverous anyway, thass always a problem.
S.x
My daughters think she can do no wrong!
I heard that she had to pad the backside to make the Daisy Dukes look authentic.
I told my daughter, "You're WAY cuter than she is!"
Think it will work?
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