Squawker- Texas Ranger

So today is Friday. THANK YOU DEAR LORD. Cristian has a soccer game fairly early on Saturday morning so that totally BLOWS my sleeping-in day. Not that it matters since Miko's internal alarm clock starts chirping incessantly at about 7am. At which point, we bring him into bed with us and try to bore him back to sleep. This is usually ineffective considering Miko can entertain himself for hours just by stepping on our heads and and repetitively ramming his skull into various parts of our bodies, alternately. Add in the pterodactyl squawking and any continuation of sleep is utterly obliterated.
Speaking of Squawker- Texas Ranger...I heard a rumor that he'll be moved into the toddler room within a week or two as dictated by his impending achievement of AN ENTIRE 18 MONTHS on Planet Earth. Once he is exiled from the Infant Room he will be expected to do things like...watch Elmo's World and eat at an actual table in a real chair.
I don't think I'm ready for this. I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.
He is currently the reigning King of the Infant Room and besides...who wants to go around training new handmaidens? Can't he just stay with the other babies until its time to send him off to school? WHATS WITH THIS GROWING UP BUSINESS?! It's bad enough his diaper size is like two steps away from being a Depends.
WHAT SNAGGLEPUSSED WOMAN BIRTHED THIS GIANT BABY?! I shudder to recall...
I've been toggling back and forth between being relieved that he can start potty-training soon to being horrified that one of these days he's going to start speaking English instead of his current mix of Klingon and Gelfling.
And then rather than just trying to DEDUCE what all of his angry quacking is all about...I'll KNOW.