Moments Of Epiphany

1. Fireworks are still cool.
Every Friday night during the summer months, South Padre Island puts on a fireworks show. Keeping in mind that I really can't recall the last time I saw any spectacular fireworks since I was little. And I'm TOTALLY not counting the piddly-poot fireworks that the kids light up at my brother in laws shop on most holidays.
We walked about two blocks down from our condo to a little outdoor bar right on the water called Wahoo's. At 9:15 the sky over the ocean was lit up with the most brilliant, colorful display and the finale...brought a little tear to my eye. It was absolutely beautiful. Before the sun went down we could see the platform out on the water where these things were being lit and from our vantage point...it was like these huge balls resembling small galaxies were falling down right on our heads.
It really was breathtaking.

2. Schlitterbahn is the FUCKING BOMB...when you don't have any kids dragging you down.
Roy and I arrived at 10am when the park opened and we didn't leave until after 4pm. OMIGOD. It was the best time ever.
All of the slides are tube slides, which means we avoid the chlorinated enemas typical of most waterpark slides. The slides are all accessible from the river so basically when you're waiting in line...you're doing so while sitting in your tube, floating underneath a nice palapa canopy.
WHO ARE THESE MASTERMINDS?
Whoever came up with this concept is a freaking genius. I can't even tell you how many cat naps I took while lying there half submerged in the cool water. This is where having a husband comes in really handy. The idea is that you make him do all the work. We opted for the double tube after our initial ride because while in the single tube, Roy got spun around so much he went down most of the slide backwards. He liketh that not. So after that, I got to lay like a slug in the front of a tube while he paddled me around to slide after slide.
DOES LIFE GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT?!
We rode all of them 2 or 3 times and went down the 2 different rapids once. The river starts off from a big wave pool and from there you're put onto a huge conveyor belt which lowers you down into the river. We became pros at keeping our asses off the conveyor until absolutely necessary. There were a few times when I nearly lost my board shorts on that thing. The funniest part of this excursion was when Roy was aiming our tube right for this "storm drain". I was in the front getting ready for the downpour of water and I could hear Roy behind me hooting with glee and then all of the sudden, we're directly underneath the spout and I hear..."MY SHADES!"
The water was so strong that it blew Roy's sunglasses right off his head.
The river made a turn after that and we were hanging back to see if the damn things would float by us. I was secretly pleased because these shades are SO UGLY. I tried to console him with promises of new shades from the gift shop. It was then that I said..."I can't believe after all this time you finally lost those damn things here at..." and then I heard it again..."MY SHADES!" Ugh. And there they were. They had passed us at some point and were lying at the bottom of the river just to our left. Roy excitedly dove under the water and retrieved them.
ANYWAY.
We had lunch at the Shrimp Haus, right there at the waterpark and sat at a table overlooking the Boogie Bahn, which is a big heavy duty wave pool where you can actually ride the waves on a boogie board. Cris has been practicing this thanks to his Schlitterbahn Season Pass but THIS time Cris wasn't there. HA! It was just me, my husband and a dozen blackened shrimp.
At the end of it all, we walked down to the beach through the park's beach access bridge and watched the Coast Guard pulling a buoy back out that had been thrown to shore by the hurricane. I had no idea HOW FREAKING HUGE those things are! I swear it was two-stories tall. I didn't have my camera or I would have taken a picture.
Amazingly enough, I'm only SLIGHTLY sunburned. That was a good day. A very good day.

3. Getting drunk is FUN with The Holmbergs.
We talked Joyce and Joe into coming out and spending Saturday night with us so we could spend some quality time with them before they move back to San Antonio. After getting dressed semi-nicely, we headed to Louie's Backyard and sat outside listening to Jimmy Buffett (BLECH) and drinking frozen margaritas.
Cece likes margaritas.
It only took three before I was doing stupid shit like taking a picture of the guy sitting next to us who had fallen asleep in his chair. Why? Because Joyce dared me to. And I'm stupid.
After that some good music kicked in and we started hearing Holmberg stories again. Like the one about how Joe got Joyce to marry him because he traded in his Renault for a brand new Cougar and the one about how Joyce got Joe to let her move in with him by telling him that she was moving to Houston when she really wasn't.
WHO'S THE FRAUD NOW JOYCE. WHO'S THE FRAUD NOW.
We ended up back at the room with a cooler full of beer and a fresh pack of smokes. I think we crawled into bed around 3am. We might haven fallen asleep immediately thereafter but suddenly Joyce became worried about their dogs being left outside overnight with the KILLER BEE SWARM that resides under their neighbors shed. There was something hysterically funny about hearing the Holmbergs argue about whether or not they should drive home to save their dogs from the killer bees. I may have just been drunk. Joyce finally gave up and fell asleep.
The party was officially over.

4. The actual beach sucks ass.
I don't know WHY I thought going to the beach would be a good idea on Sunday morning. We all crawled out of bed 20 minutes before checkout. While The Holmbergs departed so they could make sure their dogs were still alive, Roy and I grabbed our beach gear and hit the sand. Normally I like to go WAY out to the dunes at the very end of the island but this time I thought I'd be a little beach bunny, put on my two-piece and actually experience the beach as it was intended to be experienced. This means, putting on the sunscreen, stripping down to nearly nothing IN PUBLIC and sitting in very close proximity to a bazillion grains of sand which all seem to be trying to find their way into my ass crack through any means necessary.
WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!
We set up the chairs, laid out a blanket and commenced with the lathering of the sunscreen. By this time, the sunscreen was 50% sand and I've never felt more disgusting. I layed down...still attempting to make the most of it...BOUND AND DETERMINED to enjoy myself and after about 5 minutes...NO LIE, FIVE MINUTES was all it took before I said FUCK THIS SHIT and we left.
Next time I'll keep my clothes on and climb the dunes as I like to.

5. My kids look so much cuter when I haven't seen them for 48 hours.
Miko was a doll, Cris was an angel. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and ain't that the truth. I was so happy to see those two, I even got excited about changing Miko's diaper and HE POOPED IN IT. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Tonight Cris and I dipped marshmallows and strawberries in chocolate and I made sausage and mexican rice for dinner. I'm a fucking gourmet, remember?
Miko is in bed now and Cris is watching some stupid show on the Disney Channel. At least it isn't Degrassi Junior High.

6. Every weekend should last 3 days.
Despite a strong and unnatural urge to be at work tomorrow, I won't be. I get to sleep in on a Monday and then Roy and I are going to see a movie after we dump our kids at daycare. Heh. Dumping the kids at daycare is cool when you have the day off. I missed them alot but not enough to keep their asses tomorrow while I'm trying to get my groove on.
Sorry guys, thats what I pay $120 a week for.
It's all about getting my money's worth, ya know?

I'll post some pictures later. Right now Roy and Joe are sitting outside drinking beers and smoking cigarettes and I'm missing all the good Holmberg Stories.