Does My Nose Not Bleed?

Yesterday my mom and I went shopping for Peeper's required Daycare gear and I must have gotten WAY too excited by his new walker (not required by the daycare but required by my glee over seeing Peepers in a walker) because on the way back to my mom's house, my left nostril started gushing blood. I thought I needed to blow my nose so I grabbed a tissue out of the HUGE ASS box that my mom keeps on the dash of her Suburban (cuz only a Suburban has a dashboard big enough to hold that HUGE ASS box) and I blew. Big Mistake. All of a sudden I was having a nose hemorrhage. On a side note...do ALL mothers keep tissues in their car? If so...I guess as a mother now myself...I really should stock my own car with these. But getting back to my bleeding to death. I haven't had a nosebleed since I was a kid! And my mom is acting like the Nosebleed Expert. Telling me where to pinch my nose...how much pressure to apply...and how far up to jam the tissue. Meanwhile I was freaking out. I pinched. I pressured. I jammed. and it was STILL bleeding. and when I say it was bleeding, I mean that I had blood all over my nose and hands. I was filling up tissue after tissue. It was HORRIFYING! And my mom was initially unconcerned. I was waiting for her to offer to cut it off like she did when I would wound myself as a child. Any injury was swiftly met with a response of...."Well maybe we should just go to the hospital and have them cut it off." And I have had this conversation before with you so I will not elaborate. But after I had soaked about 10 tissues she began to look concerned...which in turn made me VERY concerned because after all, this is the woman who doesn't GET concerned. Two large blood clots later, we arrived at my parents house. As we pulled into the driveway, it seemed my nose had stopped bleeding. It had bled for about 10-12 minutes (the entire drive home from the store). My dad was outside working on the yard and I wanted to impress him with all of my blood so I grabbed my two handfuls of tissue and leapt out of the truck shouting..."Dad! Look! My nose was BLEEDING BAD!" and as I skipped across the saltillo tile towards him, I dropped one of my blood-soaked hankies. When I stooped over to pick it up...DRIP....DRIP....DRIP. SON OF A BITCH IT WAS BLEEDING AGAIN! And at this point, my jailbird uncle decides to heckle me with his lame humor and offers...."IT'S PROBABLY ALL THAT COKE UP YOUR NOSE!" or something REALLY stupid like that so I ignored him because the hardest drugs I've ever taken are Sudafed and the Birth Control Pill. ( ! ) and I didn't just say that I take the Birth Control Pill because I am Catholic now and us Catholics don't use Birth Control. So anyway...my dad walks up to me all cool and suddenly grabs the fragile cartilage of my nose in a vice-like grip and comforts me with the following declaration..."When the boxers get a nosebleed we get their nose like this (crank) and we squeeze it right here (crack) and we hold it for X amount of time and then we do this..." and THEN he pinched my nose and slashed his fist downward in an awful and rapid swipe followed by..."and the blood gets thrown out of the nose." however in MY case, no blood flew out of my nose because of my father's efficient squeegee-ing, rather my nose just ceased to bleed. and breathe. "Um. Thanks? Dad? It. stopped?" And my dad gave a triumphant nod and my uncle went back up the ladder and my mom finally exited the truck and we went on about our business. Note to self. Next time your nose is bleeding DON'T TELL DAD.