The Great Pumpkin

Last night at around 7:30, Roy was cooking up some ground beef for a dinner of greasy tacos. At approximately 7:45, he realized that there were no corn tortillas for greasy tacos. At 8:52, I left for the grocery store amidst protests that we could just throw the meat on a plate with some moldy cheese and eat it like that, no big deal. I argued that I was hungry and stressed and I wanted greasy tacos, not greasy meat on a plate. I said I would be back in 15mins. At 8:54, I started the timeclock. As I drove to the store, I mapped out my strategy. I would hang an immediate right and grab some lettuce, tomato and avocado, then I would hang a left, pick up the "torts" (as my nephew describes them) and be on my way. Did I mention that I was wearing red plaid pajama pants with flip-flops and a t-shirt? So I dashed into the store and made a beeline for the vegetables. And as I rushed past the cakes and donuts into the veggie section, I ran straight into a huge bin o' pumpkins. Great Scott! Sitting there in front was the most glorious piece of pumpkin perfection ever offered at your local grocery store cardboard bin. It was...magnificent. Round and fat and orange and textured with those lovely longitudinal lines flowing out from beneath a long, green PERFECT stem. Most years I wait until the last minute and my pumpkin either has NO stem or it has a stubby stem. A stem with no character. So it was with visions of this stem in my head that I reached down and wrestled this pumpkin into my cart. Looked at my watch. Still on schedule. I spent a minute or two feeling up several avocados, then grabbed the rest of my veggies and pushed my cart along. And while I was pushing my cart, I thought about my beautiful pumpkin. How my pumpkin nearly brought a tear to my eye. How many delicious roasted seeds I would gather from a pumpkin of such magnitude. How wondrous it would look carved and lighted. Oh Beautiful Pumpkin Of Joy and Happiness How I Love Thee. And I made my way to the medicines as I had the good fortune of remembering to pick up a bottle of Mylicon Drops for Peepers and still thinking of the pumpkin and patting myself on the back for remembering the drops, I pulled into the Express Line and waited. In my pajamas. But I didn't remember I was in my pajamas. All I could think about was my pumpkin. And how I would convince Roy that my pumpkin had in no way slowed me down and that one look at it would be all he needed to fall in love with The Pumpkin. And as I stood there imagining Roy meeting The Pumpkin and all the joy it would bring, I smelled a heavy and tantalizing scent directly behind me. Wafting towards my nose with smoky fingers to pull at my nostrils. And I turned slightly and saw that a young man was standing behind me. A young, handsome man all decked out in slick clothes and holding a rose in one hand and a card in the other. And I wanted to turn to him and make a joke like...."So either you're in big trouble or you're just that damn good?" and I even smiled to myself about making this comment...or maybe I smiled for real but then I realized...I WAS IN MY PAJAMAS and perhaps this young man would think I was a TOTAL WEIRDO FOR TALKING TO HIM WHILE I STOOD THERE IN MY PAJAMAS. Defeated, I turned back to the business at hand. And I paid for my pumpkin. The Pumpkin. And I left. I got to the truck, threw my pumpkin in the back, hopped inside, looked at the clock and briefly thought about how clever I was to be on time AND with a Pumpkin! but it was a very brief thought because it was just then that I realized...I FORGOT THE FREAKING TORTILLAS! So I had to go BACK into the store and get back in line IN MY PAJAMAS and then I paid and I left AGAIN. I called Roy to explain my delay but hinted at a surprise that would make it all better. I pulled into the driveway and Roy came out to help me. I opened the back of the X-Terra and I SWEAR ON MY LIFE RAYS OF SUNLIGHT AND JOY RADIATED OFF THAT PUMPKIN! But Roy was unimpressed. He looked at it. Looked at me. Picked it up. And went inside. And the whole time I was following right on his heels gushing about The Pumpkin and how gorgeous it is.....I was receiving absolutely no response. No Matter. We walked in, Roy set The Pumpkin down on the table and I called out to Cris..."Cristian! Look what Momma got at the store!" and Cristian came into the kitchen and exclaimed..."Wow, Mom! That sure is going to make alot of pumpkin seeds!" and I beamed stupidly back...."It sure is, Son!" And somehow. The world was right again.