MARTINEZ + BEER = LOVE

DISCLAIMER- I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ANY VULGARITY IN THIS POST AS IT IS ENTIRELY THE FAULT OF JOE HOLMBERG.

Some of the more memorable quotes from this evening...

Cody: I heard The Pixies are making a comeback. Yeah I seem to be the only person excited about this.
Me: Oh really. Well comebacks usually aren't as great as we expect them to be.
Cody: Tell that to Pink Floyd.
Me: Why? Did they come out with some new stuff?
Cody: No but its PINK EFFING FLOYD.

Julie: And in my dream Snoop Dogg was giving me a tattoo of Jesus on the back of my neck. And then I made out with Cindy.
Mark: You mean I was in your dream and all I got was a stupid crayon tattoo on my arm?!
Roy: Yeah dude. Now I can buy you a shirt that says..."I WAS IN MY WIFE'S DREAM AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID TATTOO."
Me: Wait a minute! Why weren't you making out with ME in your dream?!
Julie: Cece, shut the fuck up.

Joe: I'm telling you. You know why?! You wanna know why?! Cuz WHITE PEOPLE ARE FREAKY. I'll tell you straight up. I lick ass. Yeah I said I lick ass!
The Collective: Gasp!
Joyce: Where is that stick? *THWAP THWAP THWAP* I TOLD YOU WE WERE CATHOLIC, HOMLBERG! *THWAP THWAP THWAP* I TOLD YOU WE WERE CATHOLIC!

Joe: Hey Julie. I have some film projects you might be interested in.
Me: Julie, you and me. We'd be hot.
Julie: Both of y'all SHUT THE FUCK UP.


I should add that I spent most of the evening waggling my tongue provocatively at my sister in law. Joe expounded on the merits of freaky sex. Julie told Cindy to her face that she made out with her in a dream. Joyce smacked Joe several times. Mark nearly inhaled a sunflower seed when Joe suggested that his wife was getting it doggy-style in her dream with Snoop Dogg. My husband told the story about us using Crayola Washable Markers during foreplay.
And Cody disappeared just before the words ass and licking were used.