Honey, I'm Home

Did anyone miss me yesterday? Because I wasn't here. If anyone noticed. I'm a daily blogger and there were no posts yesterday. So if anyone was curious about that...here is the reason. Yesterday afternoon, I believe I suffered from an anxiety attack, triggered by my having to peddle raffle tickets to my co-workers. A loathesome act, for sure. My back is already very tense and knotted by my inability to deal with stress of any kind. Which would include anything from Cristian not putting his shoes on in the morning the first 8 times I told him to or perhaps from a piece of trash left wadded up on my kitchen counter. But selling raffle tickets apparently just pushes me right over the edge. I'm nervous like that. So after years of neglecting my anxiety and my back, they both revolted. At the same time. Cuz in my life, when it rains...it pours. But I managed to make it out of the office and even ran to my parents house for a bit. In pain...but since I wasn't dying or anything...I tend to ignore these things. By 8pm I was still at my parent's house but by this time I was unable to move or breathe without a good deal of pain. Which left driving a standard vehicle out of the question since my entire right arm had become useless. My parents drove me home and Roy came out of work and took charge of the boys. By midnight I was gasping for air as my back spasmed and constricted my chest in a death grip. But I persevered for a couple more hours until breathing became excruciating and my entire body was racked with what amounted to a Charlie Horse in the upper right portion of my back. At 3am we called my mom to come over and sit with the boys while Roy took me to ER. I was in excruciating pain with no idea how to gain relief. Pills werent working, the heating pad wasnt working...and all the crying I was doing was only making matters worse. Whats a girl to do when she is in severe pain but gasp for air and tremble and cry and cry and cry? As it turns out, I was having muscle spasms most likely brought on by anxiety but I pretty much diagnosed myself on that one. The ER doctor just went with it because by the time he saw me my spasms had ceased and I was merely dealing with incredible pain, not excruciating pain. ER doctors only respond to excruciating pain...and rightfully so. No matter. He gave me a muscle relaxer called Flexerol for my pain and Paxcil for my anxiety. Yesterday my co-worker insisted that I visit her husband for therapy since he is a chiropractor. He evaluated my knotted muscles and has me signed up for three weeks of massage therapy. I feel better today but a little weird...possibly from the Paxcil. I am stiff and sore but I can breathe without gasping. I think I will survive.