Yes I Would Cut Off My Nose To Spite My Face

I went to the doctor yesterday and I was precribed some Clarinex and an antibiotic. Keeping in mind I had already tried, Tylenol Sinus and Allergy and also Claritin 24 hour. I have been blowing my nose every 3-5 mins. Hang on. I gotta blow it right now. Okay. I'm back. So I used a huge ass box of Puffs in less than 24 hours and my nose is now chapped and it burns. IT HURTS MOMMY IT HURTS. I took the Clarinex at around 6pm when I got home from work. By 9pm I threw my nearly empty box of Puffs onto the floor as I languished in utter hopelessness on the love seat and cried out..."WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY NOSE?!" Here I sit the next morning. Still no relief. Hang on. Gotta blow again. So last night Roy and I got into bed and I assembled my nose blowing station on the nightstand. My retainer box was within reach for when I finally couldnt stand the drying out of my entire mouth as I breathed heavily through my chapped lips and I finally was ready to give up trying to ignore the plastic stuck to the roof of my mouth and teeth which was only furthering my misery, next to that was the Industrial Sized Box Of Puffs, next to that...some chapstick which was doubling as Nose Ointment and the little plastic grocery baggie was again looped around the knobs of the nightstand drawers. Okay. I propped up my pillows, nestled in....and.....I knew that I would NEVER BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP. Roy suggests yet AGAIN that I drink some Robitussin. Now let me explain something about me and consuming foul liquids. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. My throat involuntarily closes and I wretch. Horribly. But I was desperate. We went into the kitchen and Roy selected the most foulest of elixars in the hopes that it would at least knock my ass out. First I put it in a baby medicine dropper. I squeezed out a quarter of a teaspoon into the backest back part of my throat and gagged severely. Roy gave me a pep talk about being a wimp. I measured two teaspoons in a little cup and, by his advice, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and poured it into my mouth. I then began convulsing over the sink as horrific belches escaped the deepest reaches of my bowels (gross!) and saliva ran out of the corners of my slackened lips and my eyes cried a thousand tears. Roy stood by with a look of sheer disbelief. To which he exclaimed..."You have got to be the worst medicine taker I have ever seen! My God!" And as I poured water into my mouth and let it wash back out and I hung limply over the edge of the sink...an idea came to me. If it worked with Vodka, why not Robitussin? I pulled out my shot glass, measured out the two teaspoons, topped it with Cranberry Juice and mentally prepared myself. BY GOD I'M NOT A WIMP. I chugged it. It mostly went down. Then I leaned back over the sink and gagged. I re-assembled my Nose Blowing Station in the living room, hunkered down on the couch and settled myself in to watch King Of The Hill, fully expecting that I would be up the rest of the night blowing out all of the remaining fluids in my body through the reddened, scaly orifice that my nose had become. 15 mins later I was knocked out. Three hours later I was back to blowing but OH WHAT A GLORIOUS THREE HOURS THAT WAS.