An Advertisement For Paxcil

What is my freaking deal with waiting in line? I cannot tolerate waiting in line for ANYTHING. Even if I am NEXT in line. My sister says its because I'm a bitch. Maybe I am. But God Help Me. I have no patience for waiting for other people to do things that I need to do NOW! NOW! NOW! For instance, If I am behind more than 4 cars at a stop light....I WANT TO TEAR OFF HEADS AND HOWL AT THE MOON. I just can't sit still while the other 6 cars in front of me slowly creep through the green light. If an investigator would ever be interested in torturing a confession out of me, he would put me in the Express Line at Wal-Mart, behind 10 people with 3 kids each. I WOULD GO FUCKING INSANE. And after all....who am I anyway? Why do I deserve to be at the front of every line?
What makes me so special? The fact that steam comes out of my ears when the cars come to a complete stop ON THE EXPRESSWAY?! Doesn't everyone's ears do that? Why do I have to be so impatient? As if what I am doing is more important than what someone else is doing? But really...thats the thought that rages through my head as I stand in some endless line tapping my foot and scowling at the poor little old lady in front of me. WHY AM I SO EVIL?! (Don't answer that, FOF, I actually already know.)
Why am I standing there thinking thoughts like this: Come ON people. Do we ALL have to take lunch at Noon?? Can't YOU take lunch at 1:00 and make MY life a little easier? Stop CHIT CHATTING with the clerk! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! LET THE WOMAN DO HER JOB! Moveitmoveitmoveitmoveit! Fasterfasterfasterfaster! GET THE LEAD OUT LADY! Hey! There is an entire TWO FEET OF SPACE in front of you that I COULD BE STANDING IN!
Or thoughts like this: Your car has a gas pedal! USE IT! GREEN MEANS GO! GREEN MEANS GO! I'm a powerful woman and one to be reckoned with! TURN NOW! TUUUUUURN! Get the #@$% out of my way!
I mean...is all this anger really necessary? So what if I have to make it to the soccer game in the next two minutes? Who cares if all I'm buying is a battery for my camera that died at the EXACT moment I was about to snap pictures of the Teddy Bear Assassin's FIRST HALLOWEEN COSTUME?! I could sit here and scold myself for the rest of the day but....dangit, I got shit to do.
Peace, I'm out.