Halloween 2004

Last night I went out amongst the ghouls and goblins and attempted to procure candy for my own little monsters, Cris, Josh and Brandy. Janie, Julie and myself loaded into my mother in law's van and headed out into the night in search of sugary goodness. Cris was a cloaked and hooded Alien. Josh was a Scream-er. Brandy was a Witch. Janie, Julie and I dressed as bitchy mothers sentenced to walk down endless sidewalks for an hour straight. We wore t-shirts.
By the time we started our evening's festivities, most of the houses had shut down for the night. The tell-tale porchlights had been extinguished. But what fun we had! Each and every well-lit house was greeted with..."There? Should they go there? Yes, there! Run! Run, Cris! HURRY! HURRY!" and then occasionally we would reach the end of a street and the three bitchy moms would holler...."WAIT! WAIT! Don't cross the street yet! Look for cars!" and finally shouts of...."Brandy?! Where is your wig! What happened to your wig?!" And it wasnt long before I realized that the reason Cristian was walking so slowly was because his alien head totally obscured his vision and furthermore, his shoes were untied. Who ever heard of an alien in Nike high-tops? And I giggled as I knelt down and commanded him to "lift his skirt" so I could tie his shoes. Finally I ended up carrying both an alien head, which I naturally tried on and wore for about 30 seconds, and one screaming mask. After we had scavenged an entire neighborhood it was time to depart. But oh what bitter and disgruntled children have I! Their festively decorated treat bags were nearly empty! An entire neighborhood yielded a mere two handfuls of sugar each. "WE WANT MORE!"....they cried. "MORE!" and the trio of bitchy mothers were bitter as well.
And as the little ghouls climbed into the van I asked each one..."Did you have fun, Brandy?"
"no."
"Did you have fun, Josh?"
"no."
"Did you have fun, Cris?"
"Ice Cream?"
And I cried out with much gusto..."ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE! LETS GO TO DQ! MY TREAT!" And we ended the night with bellies full of ice cream.
By the way I just want to publicly announce to the fat man in the sleeveless shirt that was sitting in his WELL-LIT front yard next to an EMPTY BOWL decorated orange and black for an entire HOUR. The one who kept shouting..."WE DONT HAVE ANYMORE CANDY! I'M ALL OUT OF CANDY" to every costumed child that eagerly approached him. To that man, I say...."IF YOU ARE ALL OUT OF CANDY THEN PUT THE FREAKING BOWL IN THE HOUSE YOU CREEP!"