Becoming A Wal-coholic

I have never been a fan of Wal-Mart. Those stores always seem to be packed and stacked with crap that I don't have the patience to sift through AND they are always packed and stacked with crappy PEOPLE that I dont have the patience to tolerate. Wal-Mart just seems to attract that crowd of peeps that have like...5 kids under the age of 5...and they let them roam freely without the benefit of shoes on their feet or most of their clothing. ugh. nothing worse than seeing a 3 year old running through a Wal-Mart in his diaper. WHATS WRONG WITH THESE PARENTS?! but I digress. so typically I have never liked to join the herd at Wal-Mart. until. Mr. Sam Walton built a HUGE SUPER Wal-Mart right by my mother in laws house and guess what? I'm there every freaking weekend! every chance I get! needling my sisters in law with...'do you need to go to Wal-Mart?' and, of course, ONE of them inevitably does. which is GREAT for me. because I am suddenly smitten with Wal-Mart. their Wal-Mart. it is LIGHT and AIRY and SPACIOUS! and they have ORGANIZATION and SHELVING and ROOMY WALKWAYS! and they sell my favorite things! baby stuff and cheap hair stuff and interesting impulse items. and lo and behold they have FOOD! I can go there and buy GROCERIES! and perhaps the most wonderful marvel of all...they have a ONE HOUR PHOTO LAB! and THEY ACTUALLY PRINT FILMS IN ONE HOUR! not like those bastards at Target. in fact...Julie and I were there on Saturday and she got DOUBLE PRINTS in 40mins! FORTY MINUTES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! not even an HOUR had passed and her pictures were DONE! gloryglory hallelujah. I think there was a tear in my eye. Yes. I think there was one fucking crystal sparkling tear in my goddamn eye. and Julie turned to me and said....'well look at that. less than an hour.' and I nodded numbly...my head reeling with the possibilities. if I bring my pictures HERE to be developed then I have even MORE opportunity to stroll aimlessly through these knick-knack packed aisles. I have an even GREATER chance of finding little sleepsuits with feet for Peepers and and and HUGE boxes of fruit snacks for Cris and and and little hair bows for Iliana and and and old-timey cartoons on dvd for ONE DOLLAR! and Roy oh Roy. he doesnt even seem to MIND being in this Wal-Mart. he, the man who hates shopping, actually agrees to escort me to this place WITHOUT being under duress! because they have TOOLS and CAMPING STUFF and BIKES and WHEELS and SPROCKETS and DOOHICKEES for him to examine! and he likes that. oh yes he does. I know I used to be a diehard Target fan....but I'm starting to see...Target is somewhat overrated...somewhat pompous...somewhat overpriced...and they have a TOTALLY SHITTY PHOTO LAB! so here's to you, Target. Kiss My Picture Taking Ass GOODBYE. you had it and you lost it. see ya when you get a REAL One Hour Photo Lab. until then...VIVA WAL-MART!