Book Of Vegas, Chapter Four- The Things We Did

Our first stop was the Stratosphere Tower. Sure its really tall and you can see everything from the top and yada yada yada but I wasnt interested in all that. We were there for the three rides at the top of the tower. The High Roller, The X-Scream, and The Big Shot. Cris was just tall enough to get on The High Roller and The Big Shot. He was VERY excited. The High Roller is a roller coaster that winds around the top of the tower. so not only are you higher up than perhaps any other roller coaster out there...you are bobbing up and down and around....up there. quite spectacular. Cristian handled his first roller coaster ride like a champ and I couldnt have picked a better place to introduce him to the roller coaster. The next ride was the Big Shot. we sat down in groups of four on all four sides and this thing shot us up into the air and dropped us like dead weight. I've been on this type of ride before at our local theme parks but this time we were on TOP of the Stratosphere Tower. there is nothing like it in the world. we may as well have been dropped from an airplane. incredible. and again...Cristian was begging to get back on the ride. that boy is fearless. which is pretty damn scary for his mother. Roy and my sister rode the X-Scream together while Cristian and I purchased some shirts in the gift shop and that was the end of that adventure. I can't tell you about the X-Scream because I didn't ride it but apparently the picture was hideous and my sister refused to buy it, saying something to the effect of....'Fuck that shit. I dont want that. Lets get the fuck out of here.'...after she saw herself on the monitor. I heard something about her face being twisted up to one side in a grotesque and fearful sneer. and Roy regrets not sneaking back to buy it. Our next stop was the Las Vegas Hilton. I didn't remind Roy that he had once refused to ever step foot in a Hilton Hotel ever again thanks to his dislike of Paris Hilton, but Paris Hilton aside...I wanted to go on the Star Trek Experience. Roy and my sister opted to get drunk at the bar while Cristian and I went through the "ride". I can't even begin to describe how fucking awesome that was. I won't even try. everyone is in character and its totally interactive. and VERY realistic. they replicated many aspects of the Enterprise and it really felt like you were there. the entire premise behind it was that we were on a tour of the facility when the Klingons attempted to abduct us. we were then "transported" onto the ship and sent back down to the Hilton in a space shuttle. the second part was the Borg Invasion. that one wasnt as good but still...the Borgs are freaking wicked and we had fun with it. After purchasing a Tribble from the Vulcan manning the register at the gift shop, we were on our way to the Aladdin to sample from their highly esteemed Spice Market Buffet. and I have one word for that place. wow. IT WAS DELICIOUS. the best damn food I've had in a while. I'm not big on gourmet food. or at least...not food that is presented to me in artistic form. this food was fancy but not so fancy that it tasted foreign. I ate until my eyes popped out. which was okay. we all did. The next day we went to the Venetian and walked through Madame Tussaud's wax museum. we took hilarious pictures of ourselves with famous people. we have one of Roy squatting down to point out a shot to Tiger Woods and a picture of Roy squeezing one ample cheek of J. Lo's ass. Cristian was going nuts trying to get pictures with everybody. his favorite though was one of him playing air guitar next to a snarling Billy Idol. he LOVES Billy Idol. it was after this excursion that we ate lunch at Nathan's. but after the Spice Market Buffet...hot dogs weren't really thrilling. anyway. Las Vegas is a fun place. that sounds so lame. it is A FUCKING INCREDIBLE PLACE. there. thats better....