And Now We Give Thanks

Next week is THANKSGIVING, yo! Where has this year gone?! I can hardly freaking WAIT to eat my Mom's Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner. Nobody does it better. But then again...we all think that, right?
The menu always consists of the following:

Turkey
Homemade Dressing
Homemade Gravy
Homemade Cranberry Sauce
Homemade...okay like everything is homemade...Candied Yams
Mashed Potatos
Grean Bean Casserole
Scalloped Corn
Hot Buttery Rolls
Waldorf Salad
Pickles
Olives
Pumpkin Pie
Apple Pie
OMIGOSH THERE IS AN ENTIRE BUFFET TABLE OF HOMEMADE FOOD FROM THE WOMAN WHO NEVER COOKS!

I am literally dancing around the house until 12:30pm when we are finally allowed to dig in. My mom is the biggest kitchen nazi though. I never learned much cooking from my mom because when she DID cook, which was on a regular basis when I was a kid, I was never allowed in the kitchen...methinks I might have been a pest. Once I hit high school, every night became Fend For Yourself Night, which was by far better than Leftover Night but never nearly as good as...Hamburger Helper Night. But on Thanksgiving and Christmas, the woman goes all out. She straps on her red and green plaid apron, breaks out the good silver and party china and we feast like FUCKING KINGS, I SAY!
And for the hour leading up to the Big Moment, shouts of....
"Cecilia, get your fingers out of that stuffing!" or
"Cecilia, leave the turkey alone!" or
"Mom, did you find the wishbone? Huh? Huh?" or
"If she found the wishbone its MINE!" or
"Alexis, give that wishbone back to Cristian!" or
"Joe, GET THESE GIRLS OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" Sheesh.

I don't see why she has to get so tyrannical about the whole thing. I'm just a kid for crap's sake. Who cares if I'm 30 years old and I'm still fighting my little sister for the wishbone? That bitch is going down! After all, if I still have to sit with my HUSBAND and my cousins at the KIDS TABLE while my EIGHT YEAR OLD sits at the big table with my parents and my aunt and uncle, I should have some rights! That wishbone is SO mine.