Roy The Happy Eater

My husband freaking loves buffets. He LOVES BUFFETS! We go to Las Vegas and what does he research prior to our trip? BUFFETS. I'm scheduling trips to the Stratosphere Tower and the Wax Museum and he is researching BUFFETS. On Friday he and his mom went to eat at some Chinese Buffet and I swear that is all I heard about for the rest of the day. How damn good that BUFFET was. Every morsel on that BUFFET was described to me in all its succulent glory. And I thought the man was a fiend for shrimp. He has such a picky nature when it comes to food. Like the fact that he won't eat things that are 'green'. Okay, but he'll eat the hell outta some green beans. He has no problems with lettuce either. And now, his latest adventure includes duplicating Kentucky Fried Chicken's Secret Original Recipe. He has spent the past 3 weeks amassing little jars of spices and seasonings and yesterday they were all lined up on the counter awaiting their orders. When I returned from shopping, all that was left as the result of his efforts was one small tupperware container of Secret Original Spices. He has big plans for that little container. He is on the verge of frying up some of the Colonel's Original Recipe Chicken. And he is about as excited as me on Christmas Eve. And there is no freaking Santa Claus delivering his chicken. I cannot quite figure this out. Nothing shiny and sparkly and new. Just some greasy fried chicken coated in a science experiment's array of spices and whatnot. And my husband...eagerly tapping fingertip to fingertip. Eyes bright with lust. Mouth slightly open with desire. Is it me he's wanting? Not unless I coat myself in the Colonel's Secret Ingrediants, its not! FUCKING CHICKEN! Thats it! Tonight I'm going topless and shoving a chicken leg in my cleavage. Lets see what we get then!