Where Is The Wisdom In This?

I think one of my wisdom teeth is trying to make an appearance. The bastard. He has fine timing. My braces are scheduled to come off on Friday and I have a regular dentist appointment scheduled for Monday to give everything a good scrubbing. And now this. It hurts back there. There might even be an abscess. And I swear I can feel it barely under the surface of my gums (or gooms as my grams would say) like a BONE. A BONE, I said. The worst part about it is that the tooth isn't coming out in a typical straight up position. Heavens no. The stupid thing appears to be (judging by my probing fingers) coming out the side. The inside side. What the....?! This is awful! If I had lived in the Stone Age...I would have some seriously JACKED UP SNAGGLETEETH. Think about it! True, my teeth hadnt been seriously mangled before, only squished a bit on the bottom, but what IF? Lets say I never got braces and my teeth were crowded on the bottom. THEN, three big ass wisdom teeth (I only have three according to X-rays) decide that 30 years is LONG ENOUGH to hide out in my jawbone and they all surface in totally FUCKED UP directions. NOT ONLY pushing my other teeth askew but also POSITIONING THEMSELVES LIKE A DANG SABRETOOTH TIGER. I would be HIDEOUS! Thank GOD this is the future. Where I can CHOOSE to walk around with twisted metal in my mouth for two years. Where I can CHOOSE to have my gums (gooms) sliced open and all big mama snaggleteeth extracted. Thank you DEAR LORD for being born in a time where I don't have to walk around with rotted, abscessed, protruding, blackened BUBBA TEETH. Now I just have to get over my fear of being knocked out cold while my gooms are invaded by scalpels and my teeth are yanked out of my skull presumably leaving gaping holes in my mouth. Somebody hold me.