Roy The Angry Gentleman

Hey bitches! When my husband holds the door open for you, Thank Him! He's not getting paid by the store to hold the door open for your ass. You ingrate! He held the door open for ME and you entered by MY good graces! Next time I will demand that he go through the door first so I can let the door slam in your stupid face! Hmph! My husband ALWAYS says "Excuse Me" when he has to walk in front of someone and he ALWAYS holds the door open for others. Why? I don't know. He's chivalrous, I guess. But he has had enough of non-thankers. And I agree. If someone holds the door open for me, they are doing it because they are mannerly and kind! and so I therefore, thank them. because I am mannerly and appreciative. because maybe I am coming through that door with a stroller and a diaper bag and my purse keeps falling off of my shoulder and my baby is squawking and my 8-year old is dancing circles around me and all I want in the fucking WORLD is to make it through that door so I can take a deep breath and collapse in the air conditioning. and if you are holding the door open for me as I push with one hand, hunch one shoulder and reach stupidly for an 8-year old's t-shirt...you are like...my HERO. I am falling all over my damn self to thank you! so be on the lookout for a tall, handsome, bearded man wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a shirt that says "Hotporn", cuz maybe thats my husband and if he's holding the door open for you, thank him. If you know whats good for you.