Being Sick Sucks

I'm sick. But if you could actually hear me say that it would sound like this...
Ahm sthick.
I had a miserable night. I rigged a grocery bag onto the knobs of my nighstand and that is where I deposited the kleenex that I soiled all night long. Tylenol Sinus and Cold? You suck. My head felt swollen like a warm bloated balloon. If balloons could feel warm or bloated. I came to work today basically on principle. I had recently reminded my boss that I rarely call in sick. I was going to get here today one way or another. I keep hearing exclamations like...
"Cece! You look like shit! I mean...you know...you look sick." and...
"What are you DOING here, you psycho?!" Which was my personal favorite.
Also, I'm a horrific bitch. My darling husband vowed to get me Claritin this morning and so here I sat at my desk minutes ago when he called and he's all like...."Claritin 12 hour? 24 hour? Extended Relief?" and I'm all like...."24 hour." and he's all like...."30 pack? No, wait. 10 pack? 30 pack?" and I'm all like...."10 pack is fine." and then he's all like..."Thats the 12 hour one. The 10 pack is...no wait a minute. There's a 5 pack in the 24 hour one. A 10 pack? 24 hour?" and then I'm all like..."10 pack. 24 hour." and he's all like..."Anything else? Vicks Inhaler? Anything? For your nose? Vicks Inhaler? Chapstick? Something for your fever blister?" and what I say is..."Tylenol. 500mg." But what I want to say is..."CLARITIN 24 HOUR 10 PACK AND TYLENOL AND THATS IT I DONT WANT AN INHALER AND I DONT WANT ANYTHING FOR MY FEVER BLISTER BECAUSE IT ISNT A FEVER BLISTER IT IS ONE GNARLY LOOKING PIMPLE BROUGHT ON BY STRESS AND SICKNESS AND SO HELP ME GOD I DONT WANT ANYTHING ELSE."
And I am such a bitch because this adorable man whom I love more than life itself shows up here at work with my Claritin 24 hour 10 pack and my Tylenol 500mg AND a bouquet of flowers and he even wants a kiss from my sick ass self with my big fever blister/pimply face and my raw clown red nose and my broken chapped lips.
I Heart Roy FOREVER. And if he ever tries to leave me because I am an unbareable cow, I swear to God I will hunt him down and chain him up in my backyard. So there.