The Frog

Some kids have blankies. some, teddy bears. my kid has a Frog. when Cristian was about 2 years old I bought him a good-sized Lou Rankin Frog with a very sad face. it was a whim. we were shopping and he was hugging it. Sold! Cristian has, ever since, been fascinated with all things amphibious. or just plain slimy and green. but arent all amphibians slimy and green? to me they are. anyway. little did I know that The Frog or...Froggy as he is affectionately known...would become this kids best friend. he sleeps with it every night. takes it with him on trips. and to him...The Frog is a living creature. this point has been driven home more times than I can count. our first inkling was when we would carelessly pick up The Frog by a limb. oh the Horror! The Frog must be carried like a small Peepers-sized infant FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! followed by...AAAAAAAAAAARGH! at night...when Cristian is tucked into bed...The Frog must also be tenderly tucked into bed. (sigh) the things we do for love of our children. there have been two Frog incidents on record that have caused MAJOR ruckus thus far. The first time was when Cris and Roy were wrestling and Roy told Cris he was going to drop him into the trash can. trying to prove he was serious (although he wasnt) he carried Cris to the trash can and dangled him over it. Cristian was squealing and giggling hysterically until....UNTIL...he lost his grip on The Frog and The Frog went tumbling to the ground most unceremoniously. now what the heck The Frog was doing in the middle of all of this in the first place, I have no idea. but he was. and he fell. and there was drama. inconsolable drama. soap opera drama. MEXICAN soap opera drama. also known as Novela Drama. it took about an hour to settle him down and I think to this day...he hasn't quite forgiven himself for it. The second incident was ALL my sisters fault. we were driving back from Minnesota in my parents Suburban. all of us. mom, dad, my sister, Cris, Peepers, Roy and me. traveling with my family is traumatizing enough but when Cristian wouldnt stop pestering my sister...he got his. unknowingly, she grabbed Froggy by the neck and began a frantic throttling of his throatless form...and the shrieks ensued. now I can't describe what followed...it was all a blur. my sisters face...teeth bared in an evil grin like a maniac. Roy and I...mouths agape...the word NOOOOOOOOO filtering through in slow motion. Cristian gasping for air. gasping. hiccuping...breathlessly murmuring in terror...stopstopstopstopstopstop....and my mom and dad in the front seats turning in shock. suffice it to say...it was the most memorable part of our entire trip. poor Cristian....he was beside himself with grief and my sister...well she was the Town Pariah for the next hour or two. and I don't know what I was thinking the other day when I picked up a little brother for Froggy at the mall. but Cris has added a new bed partner. and his name? Frogdgers. like Rodgers. yeah. but better than the turtle he named Mango. and the now deceased hermit crabs who were dubbed...Green Bean and Purple Plum in accordance with their shell colors. so that, my friends, is the tale of The Frog. The End.