A Stye In Your Eye

It is another local myth that when someone develops a bumpy lumpy thing on their eye (better known as a stye, I think) it is because they were watching a dog take a shit. yeah I said they were watching a dog take a shit. you know you've seen that before. you're there minding your own biz-nazz and you turn around to find your dog taking a shit for all the world to see. all hunched up and maybe even waddling around in a circle...your dog is in the process of eliminating his bowels and you have caught him. and as you gross the fuck out...you cant help but stare at him in horror. you think to yourself...how is it that he can do this thing in public? and...doesnt he know I can see him?! and the whole time you are contemplating the utter grossness of this...you are watching him take a shit. and maybe you are even attempting to scold him for the sake of the others around you...and you're telling him..."hey! cut that out! pinch that off! dont do that around here! nasty! I said stop it!" but may I remind you that you are STILL staring at him. well guess what. for THAT you shall get a lumpy eye. so it has been said. so it is done.